You buy it, I'll wear it
by SilentG
Summary: Bobby loves his wife, but there's something missing. Where does he go to find it? La Perla, of course! Romantic, fluffy B/A WAFF. Chapter 1 T for frank discussions of underwear, Chapter 2 definitely M.
1. MR DRESSUP

**Author:** SilentG  
**Title:** You buy it, I'll wear it  
**Fandom:** LO:CI  
**Pairing:** B/A  
**Rating:** T for now  
**Spoilers:** None.  
**Archive:** Anywhere – no need to ask – just attribute, and let me know if possible  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine  
**Summary:**Bobby loves his wife, but there's something missing. Where does he go to find it? La Perla, of course! Romantic, fluffy B/A WAFF. T for frank discussions of underwear.

**A/N:** This was going to be a drabble. It grew when I wasn't looking. I know, I know, I have a bunch of WIPs. I'm working hard on WHiV, but I have to finish four chapters at once before I can post any of them, to make sure I don't frap the plot. Thank you for your patience. Also, despite huge demand, please don't hold your breath for more of "Not What She Expected". I know that when you've held your breath, I've given in in the past, but I don't think it's going to work this time. Those kinds of complicated personal entanglements aren't really my style.

**A/N UPDATE:** This "T" fic now has a very "M" second chapter. The 'fic' part is complete in Chapter 1, so if you haven't read it yet and try to avoid hot detective sex, you can read Chapter 1 and be happy! The title will be familiar to Canucks.

~.~.~.~.~

**CHAPTER ONE: MR DRESSUP**

The store was quiet and peaceful. Dimly lit, with nothing but the rustle of silk, lace and satin to disturb the silence. A subtle, floral and musk scent shifted in the air.

Bobby was the only man in the room. He felt big and awkward, yet the atmosphere relaxed and soothed him. The combination of subtle stimulants teased his senses, arousing him even.

Running his fingers over the racks of neatly-hanging garments, Bobby felt almost overwhelmed with the images, the sensations, marching through his mind. Eames in pink satin… Eames in white lace… Eames in nothing but a tiny red thong and garters. Eames laughing, teasing him… He wanted to squirm with discomfort, or turn and run.

"May I help you, sir?"

He tried to wrestle the grimace off his face as he turned to the salesgirl. She took an abrupt step back from him… obviously he hadn't succeeded.

Bobby rubbed his neck in embarrassment and gestured vaguely in the direction of the hanging garments. "I, uh…"

She smiled. A kind, pitying smile that had probably graced her face many dozens of times. "Are you buying something for your wife?"

He frowned and shook his head out of habit. "Oh no, she's…" then a soft look overtook his face, and when he looked at the salesgirl, she gasped in surprise at the transformation. "Yeah, she is my wife," he murmured almost to himself, and smiled a gentle smile.

**O.O.O.O.O**

He looked at Alex sheepishly. "I thought, maybe… you just didn't, um, like it."

"What's not to like?" She sat on the bed and began towelling her hair.

"Well you, I mean… it's so…"

Alex looked up at him imperiously. "So what?" She pursed her lips. "Girly? Feminine? Sexy?" She crossed her arms and huffed, the towel slipping, forgotten, from her hands.

"No, that's not what I mean," he said, beginning to pace. He was starting to get that panicky feeling he got when things went wrong between them. Then he saw the smirk on her face as her eyes followed him like a ball at a tennis match. She was teasing him again. He felt the weird, inexplicable twinge of arousal that he felt every time she caught him off guard.

Bobby laughed with relief and wagged a finger at her. She fluttered her eyes and reclined on the bed, beckoning, and the conversation between the two newlyweds was soon forgotten.

**O.O.O.O.O**

That poor man was way too old to look so out of place in a lingerie store.

Not to say that he was _old_, old. By Niki's reckoning he was about her father's age, which was old enough, but that didn't mean some of the sales clerks didn't drool a bit when he came in. At first, he scared her – both his size and his forbidding expression – but when she finally talked to him… well, the sweet look on his face when she mentioned his wife wasn't just adorable, it was a bit of a turn-on.

Not that she was going to do anything about it.

Niki was the top salesgirl at La Perla for a reason; her success was based on psychology. Some of the other clerks tried to earn their commissions by flirting… Which certainly got results, if the result you wanted was to collect phone numbers from the guys buying for girlfriends, and for the married ones to look flattered and bashful, then turn tail and run. Not particularly good for business.

"Are you buying for a special occasion, or… just because?"

"Uh… yes," he said, chuckling at his own cryptic response and gazing restlessly around the store.

Niki smiled. What some of the other salesgirls didn't understand was, a gold ring wasn't just a symbol of love… it was a symbol of loyalty. And a man who came into a lingerie store wearing one wasn't interested in being reminded of what he was missing by being off the market, he was in exactly the frame of mind to be reminded of why he'd removed himself in the first place. Sure, her comments and questions geared to reminding husbands why their wives were worth La Perla meant they left with bigger bags and lighter wallets, but it wasn't mercenary on her part… it was better for everyone! Happy wife, happy husband, and psych degree paid off faster.

He had beautiful hands. She was following him quietly around the store as he let his long fingers trail along the racks of intimates. Every now and then he stopped and caressed a fabric that caught his attention, and once in a while he stooped to get a better look at something.

He was shy, she realised. Too shy to examine the merchandise properly. She could leave him alone… but that wouldn't do. He'd just pace around for a while, then grab the first thing within reach, pay for it and get out of there.

She'd have to help.

He hesitated in front of a rack of quite risqué tulip-hemmed babydolls in sheer chiffon with barely-there bikini panties trimmed in lace. His mouth hung open a little bit, and the intense, faraway look in his eyes told her he was imagining his wife in it.

"What colours does your wife like," she asked as she gently pulled the ensemble off the rack and held it up for him to look at. She didn't hold it up against her own body.

The man sighed. "Eames," he shook his head and said wistfully, "My, um, she looks really nice in red." He really, really liked that outfit. He combed every inch of it with his eyes and his fingers, grunting a couple of times in what sounded like approval.

"Well that's good," she said of the burgundy-hued garment. "Do you think…" Niki hesitated, not wanting to break his concentration. "Would a piece this revealing, be… to her taste?"

The big man looked down at her, and his mischievous grin made her heart flutter. "My wife's not shy," he said.

"Good to know," Niki replied. "So shall I put this aside for you for now? And do you know her size?"

**O.O.O.O.O**

Much later, Bobby's curiosity overcame his lethargy. "So, why?" he asked her, stroking her back as she purred into the pillow they shared.

Alex turned her head to look at him coquettishly. "Are you sure you want to know?" she asked, reaching up to run her fingers through his messy hair.

"I am now," he groused, sitting up and glaring at his wife of two months.

She smirked and rolled her eyes. "Oh Bobby, it's not that bad," she said in a soft voice.

"Then why. Aren't. You. Telling me?" he practically growled.

Alex leapt up and straddled him where he sat against the headboard. "Because you're so cute when you don't know what you're jealous of," she whispered as she peppered his face with kisses. "It reminds me of the good old days."

He surrendered to her for a little while; he hadn't yet built up a resistance to the wonderful feeling of receiving affection from his wife in their bed. But when her kisses became more insistent, and she began teasing his lips with her tongue, he grasped her waist and firmly held her away from him. "Well?"

"It's not a big deal," she said, looking away. "All my old lingerie… was gifts from," _Other men_. Bobby felt a weight in his chest; he was irrationally bothered by the images her words brought to mind. He wiggled around a little to dispel the restless energy her words had evoked, and fought the urge to push her off him and rush away. Alex seemed to recognise his shift in mood, because she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and whispered in his ear. "I didn't want those things, Bobby, or the memories they invoked. What they represented. So when I moved, I just got rid of it all. I wanted to start fresh."

_Start fresh?_ "With me?" Alex smiled and nodded. "But… you moved," Bobby counted back the months, "Over two years ago." He stared at her dumbly, calculating all the implications. She'd wanted him… that long ago. During the worst of their partnership. She hadn't wanted anyone else, hadn't _been with_ anyone else.

She seemed to understand. "It was only ever you, Bobby," she said as she kissed him softly.

**O.O.O.O.O**

Bobby pursed his lips and frowned. _Her size?_ "She's… little," he said, feeling like an idiot as the words spilled from his mouth.

The clerk looked at him with the sympathetic patience of a kindergarten teacher, and he bit his lip to stop the flow of words. _She's a white female, 5'3", 108 lbs, athletic, with below shoulder-length blonde-streaked brown hair, brown eyes and a fair complexion._

"I'm Niki, by the way," she said, holding out her hand. _Smart, putting the customer at ease._ Bobby shook it. "How little? How tall is she?"

How tall was Alex? He thought of the night before, when she'd kicked off her shoes and almost thrown herself into his arms. The top of her head had rested just below the knot of his tie. He gestured with one hand. "About five-three, in stocking feet. And she's very slim, but… strong. I don't know sizes, but I think she weighs around 110 pounds."

"Then she's probably a size two, or maybe zero," Niki said. Bobby made a face. _Size zero? That didn't sound very nice._ "Busty?" Niki's face was neutral, with a hint of professional curiosity. No smirks or giggles.

"A bit," he said. "More than you, but… um, not as much as that mannequin," he said offhandedly, without a trace of self-consciousness. Niki couldn't help it – she snickered. "Um, er, not that I, uh, noticed," he hastened to add.

"I know you didn't," Niki replied. She pointed towards the bra and panty sets, and they walked. "Besides red, what does she look good in?" she asked.

"Everything," he said, trailing his fingers over the different fabrics. He didn't notice the looks the salesgirls exchanged.

"Well, petite women look best in short, flirty peignoirs and robes, so the babydoll you picked out is a good choice; I'll find a smaller size for you. And since your wife is fit, she'd suit a nice satin panty set with a shelf bra, and a sheer short robe over, don't you think?"

She'd lost him. He was standing in front of a mannequin in black satin, staring. "Like this, um, Niki?" he asked.

"Exactly like that," she said as she stepped up beside him. "You learn fast," she said with a wink.

"Sometimes," he replied ruefully.

"If I said I bet that bustiers and merry widows aren't for her, what would you say?" She gestured in the direction of the more exotic funwear.

Bobby shook his head. "You learn fast too," he answered. "But I do like that boa," he exclaimed, fingering the accessory on another mannequin.

Niki shook her head. "That's just a prop, I'm afraid. But I can tell you where you can get one," she added.

**O.O.O.O.O**

"So, you're not… shy… about, erm, wearing…"

How could a man who'd sniffed dead bodies for two decades be so shy? "Lingerie?" Alex prompted. "Nope."

"So if I…" Again, he had a hard time with the words.

"You buy it, I'll wear it." At his sheepish look, she started. "Bobby. You've bought lingerie for girlfriends before, haven't you?" He shook his head contritely. "Well," she laughed, "Look at it as an anthropological experiment."

Bobby leaned over and stuck one of his long arms under the bed. When he sat up, he had two big bags in his hand. "I did. And it was."

~.~.~.~.~

**A/N 2:** I confess that this fic made me grin like a loon when I proofread it. I really love this fic! Whether you loved it, liked it, or just barely finished it, please please review!

WORDS: 2303 UPLOADED Saturday, May 14, 2011

Updated: Saturday, May 14, 2011


	2. THE CLOTHES MAKE THE GIRL

**A/N 1:** The full version of this chapter will be posted on my LiveJournal account.

~.~.~.~.~

CHAPTER TWO: THE CLOTHES MAKE THE GIRL

"You got all this for me?"

Alex was rummaging through the bags, looking flustered and shy; he loved doing that to her. "Yup. If anything doesn't fit…"

"Oh, they'll fit," she interrupted, not even looking up.

It was only a half hour since they finished making love, but Bobby found himself itching to play with her again. It was too soon for him to get it up, even for his wife, but that didn't mean that he couldn't enjoy her, enjoy pleasing her. "And if you don't like any of the, er, things I got, you can…"

This time she silenced him with a look. On the corner of their bed with the bags in her lap, her gaze was full of emotion. He was struck suddenly by how much this meant to her; he just hoped it meant something good.

"Bobby…" she shook her head, her hair cascading enticingly over her shoulders, "No-one's ever gotten me anything this nice. This is perfect. _Thank you._" She leapt up and bent over him, kissing him soundly on the mouth while still holding onto her loot.

"You're welcome." Bobby took the opportunity to run his fingers through his wife's mane and over the soft skin of her back and arms.

"So," she murmured when they eventually parted, "What do you want to do with the rest of our day?"

"Well…" He looked speculatively down at the mess of tissue and silk she had clutched in her hands, "A fashion show might be nice."

She smirked back at him. "A fashion show, or do you want to play?"

"Can't I have both?"

**o.o.o.o.o**

Not much later, they were drifting off to sleep. "Hey," he whispered, "Where's that thing I bought you? I'm surprised you're not wearing it to bed."

"To bed? Never! It's much too nice to wear to bed. Those things are only made to last 20 hours or so."

"Twenty hours?"

"Half an hour at a time."

~.~.~.~.~

A/N 2: I was going to actually change the first chapter to match the name of the lingerie store in the episode, but it would have meant changing a few things, explaining how he'd been there before, etc. And the thing about the half-hour increments? That was actually said to me by a lingerie sales lady. Also, thanks to CloudFlying, who has disabled private messages!

WORDS: 427 UPLOADED Monday, June 4, 2012

_**Please review! That means YOU!**_


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